I Feel Witty (a parody)
SUNG TO THE TUNE OF "I FEEL PRETTY" FROM THE MUSICAL "WEST SIDE STORY."
I feel witty, oh so witty! I feel witty and giddy today,
and I pity
any girl who can't hear me today!
I'm disarming, no guns on me,
It's so charming
how lightweight it feels!
I'm so witty
That you hardly could resist my spiel
See that witty man stalking near there?
Who can that most humble guy be?
Such a silly face, such ill-fitting dress,
such a goofy smile, such a witty me!
You sit sunning, so entrancing,
why now running, and screaming, for help?
But you're stalked
by a witty, wonderful boy!
Have you met this nutcase Johnny yet
The laziest loon not yet tased?
You'll know it the moment you read him -- he's the one who thinks romance means copy and paste
He thinks he's so smart, he thinks he's a brain
He isn't so smart, he's merely a pain
He must be too cheap, though eager to please,
He needs more to eat 'cause, baby, he's lean
Keep away from him, send for pizza, better feed him, or he'll eat ya!
Mod this, I'm sure, sit tight and you'll find
he's not quite mature, and out of his mind!
I feel witty, oh so witty, so the web just gave me cookies!
Conway Twitty, should be revived just to honor me
I feel silly, I feel bunnies, I feel silly, and bunnies are mine,
and so witty, Conan O'Brien can just resign
See that reddish light on your webcam there (What red light, where?)
What could that warning light mean? (Who, what, when, where?)
Such a clever trick, such an angry frown, such a clever cop, such a jailed me!
JOHNNY AND THE FORUM MODERATORS:
Oh so stunning, and floor planting,
see that taser now arcing for joy
for its tasing
that there witty, wonderful boy!
+ By John Rieping
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